I’m a middle child of 3 girls. Growing up I was always the odd one out and felt as though I didn’t belong. I can remember being young and thinking about why I was so different to both of my sisters and mum and dad. I never really questioned it out loud because life was just life and we just did what we did and we didn’t ask those questions.
I hung onto that thought of just going with the flow and not questioning things through my teenage years and into my adult life. I think through that time I noticed that I was different and eventually came to accept it but I never really understood or celebrated it. I wouldn’t say that I now do understand it, but what I am starting to do it celebrate my difference.
My difference is what makes me “me”. No one else has ever been me, lived a day in my life or walked a step in my shoes. There is no one else in the world like me and I am like no one else in the world either. And this realisation and full acceptance of the statement has given me peace. Peace in the knowledge that it is ok to be the person I feel I am meant to be. Peace in the knowledge that it really doesn’t matter what people think of what I do or think or feel, that’s what makes me “me”. Peace in reminding myself every day that what someone else thinks of me is none of my business. Peace in knowing that I am here for a purpose, one which I’m still trying to find out, it will come 😁
I have juse started to do some personal development. This is something I have not really put any value on in the past as I’ve just gone along with how life is and accepted things. I was never taught (because the people I was around were never taught) that what I bring is what I bring. I create my own reality and I can make my life whatever it is I want it to be. This has been a HUGE discovery for me.
Now don’t get me wrong, my life has been a great one, if I hadn’t done the things I have in my past, I wouldn’t be the person I am today and I am now grateful for all of those experiences. But to be 42 years old and realise I can do whatever it is that I want to do and make my life whatever it is I want to make it is something I am loving but also struggling with. I mean, I’ve gone along with living life and now I am trying to learn how to love life and it’s a big change. To notice the things around me, truly notice them and wonder about them, question them.
Recently I went to a retreat with the lovely Katie & Wendy . It’s called a sheDance retreat. I had some of the biggest discoveries in my life over this weekend. I don’t really know where to start or what to say because it is so profound.
I can look at the sky now and see the blue that it is and know that is the colour it is meant to be, it is there for everyone to see and appreciate. It is there for me to enjoy and marvel at.
I can see my 2 puppies and know that they come up to me for a pat because they love me and I can feel the love they give and it’s not just about what I can give them.
I can sit here on my verandah and know that because I love the person I am and I can accept the differences I have others will love me and accept those differences as well. I am there person I was meant to be.
If I take the time to stop, listen and receive the messages my inner self is sending me I will follow through and do the things I am meant to do, because I have all the answers inside of me. No one can fill the holes I feel I have on the inside. I can hold myself. I have everything I need. I am the person I have been waiting for.
I am oh so grateful to Katie and Wendy for holding the safe, sacred, beautiful space they did for myself and other women to go through and experience and discover for ourselves who we really are. They are such loving, caring and giving women. Sacred Women’s Work is something we have lost contact with in this world of busy and it’s women like these two that are bringing it back and the world will be forever grateful for this as they spread their words, knowledge and love far and wide. 🙏